if i were God – i would tell more than one story

well, maybe.

but also maybe Jesus – because the apple falleth not far from the tree.

but as one of the creations imagining myself as my creator – according to some lol

i would suck people’s brains out through my special data systems in the air and then vomit it back onto them through water, all mixed up. it’s all in how you say it tho.

I think that’s what God does when “he” gets pissed off.

It feels like we are ready to move beyond the childlikeness that is detrimental – and instead embrace the childishness that allows for incredible growth and healing.

I just watched a long video (with no pause button – damn them) about AMPK, quercetin (onions and garlic), berberine, gyrostemma (?).

And the truth that you cannot change the number of fat cells in your body! They expand in size!

You can read more on the (hopefully) old style (lol) method of information delivery which really makes me want to do a sketch for my invention of “The Kindness” that comes in different forms including one in a big huge pink hammer or gavel that I can just smack down on the nonsense counter of my mind.

We need more sanctuaries for crying out loud (and silently)!

The whole fucking planet has become a bit of a den of thieves in that they still are among us you know the whole duplicitous thing. I mean I don’t mess around if you actually want me to help let’s get straight down to things. People don’t like it though.

This is what bugs me. I just leave for awhile when I hear it – and nurse my wounds – or let someone else do that online (sometimes for money – usually they are more grateful than people you fuck for free these days – people don’t know how to be awesome under all levels of duress…

Wayne Dyer said this thing once about the orange – like no matter if you kick it or squeeze it it’s still an orange. I’m like yeah … but if the orange is not eaten and it sits out it can get moldy and rotten. So in that scenario I suppose the devil is time.

Some things to think about.

And it’s funny a bit because I have had a life long dialog with myself about the orange.

When I was little I got mad when I found out my dad was not serious when he told me if I swallowed seeds a tree would grow out of my mouth and ears. And then the “your ears are so dirty you could grow potatoes in them. Lol. My mom would usually scold him – sometimes in Japanese – when he would pull our proverbial leg.

My parents have been through a lot and they are still together. I think it is because they think of themselves as a team. I think that is the beauty of a significant other relationship that has full intelligence – expansion and contraction in sync, you get to know each other’s rhythm and language evolves around you too.

Sometimes my mom cusses and it’s so outrageous what she says but she has a big smile on her face when she does it – and laughs about it. To soften the blow, she was once reported as saying.

I didn’t live with my mom since I was 12. I saw my dad more often but I was off at The Family International’s answer to boarding school for Junior End Time Teens and so on. We are the jets, we are endtime cadets … hahahaha.

Now I’m gonna post this.

Written in Evernote because Evernote saves! Hahaha. I bet Jesus would use it. Lol.

Insert here – or search for the clip from grey’s anatomy of izzy telling blondey boy who asked her why she did something she didn’t want to.

“Because it’s waht Jesus would freakin’ do!”

If you are a real die hard man pleaser – and woman pleaser omg does that make me bi –

I think there is a lot of opportunity in this incredible world of nonsensical opinions – to aggregate a very fantastical version of your own story.

This is what I have been intending to do for a long time.

I like the 9 day Queen concept – I think we should use that for politics – like if you cannot make a serious impact in 9 days you need to be on the slow mo team – and they operate on another continuum.

It’s just all the stupid infighting and conflict – and rude perspectives no doubt such as some that I possess – that is slowing us down.

So I think the answer is … more of us get into martial arts, arts, and just plain arts.

I mean do you want to live a fucking awesome life or not?!

Lol. I fucking raise my hand like I often did begrudgingly when I would volunteer for things just because I would feel guilty if I didn’t – especially if someone guilted me.

Guilt is really bad. I think it’s just a notch above shame. People use it too freely these days.

Especially regarding sex. I was listening to this “apologist” Ravi Zacharias (spelling?) – I think at the tail end of my chemo (it’s all a blur really) …

and i was like well i can get with some of that.

then i heard his views on prawnography and i was like omg idiocy!

i have been researching for awhile on the adult industry and sex – i mean i have known guys who were totally addicted to it and some who used the internet to satiate desires they didn’t feel like fulfilling physically.

I think that – thanks to all that is less honest than nature – we are at a place …

where we can use the internet more intentionally.

i don’t think that we have actually refined the information age – we have just gotten started with vomiting our opinions on the internet – and the ads – omg the motherfucking ads –

i have to tell you – it is just criminal to mental health how the ads run if you don’t have YouTube Red.

Fucking ridiculous. Help me remedy that – follow my WordPress web site and monitor me in general – I am not above needing more eyes and ears and all that good stuff …

Beware I am with too much heart for most people.

And there was a time when I felt that yeah, maybe love is a bit blech.

But then I thought, why do I think that?

I walked into the temple of barnes & noble – the place of respect and knowledge and shelter and food and coffee –

there on the bargain rack:

how to love – by dr so and so.

read my first how to’s when i was a little girl – so i could see if the adults did what they read and why not lol – how to get things done and how to love. i think there was also how to talk so kids would listen. my remedy for adults who told my mom I talked back a lot.

another remedy – jezebel beige / nude colored “undies” for the ultimate come back lol.

anyway yeah – if i were God – i would tell more than one story. about myself.

good thing i’m not god. lol.

(note to long time pals and pattern pundits – how am i doing on my flow? have you noticed that some topics i bounce right out of? i feel i am gonna parse the hell out of my data once i am done with whatever it is i am doing here – top priority: thrive in this corporealness – but I have defied lots of odds – and a few evens – so we are in super duper uncharted territory. eeek! – tasha arrives brb – “did you water the wheatgrass? It’s yellow!” “I forgot.” “of course you forgot. me: lol.) 

rough draft – or as i like to say in the temple of my mind’s labs – ruff draft. Ruff ruff! Aroooo!!!!