It’s 8:00pm, pacific time. Not that time matters as much as we think it does. But 8 is a good number – infinity, prosperity, my birthday.
Most importantly, it is still Friday on both east and west coasts, making this very much a free writing Friday.
Who cares about all that?
I do. My freedom, my writing, my time.
I listened to Dr Angela Lauria’s podcast about writers block. Some people know I can get into serious writers flow – the paragraphs spilling from my vessel as if by magic. Who thinks that fast and records it?
I think sometimes that type of writing is channeling. I can choose when to channel, and sometimes I will invite spirits – without words, we don’t need those in that realm. Just what is the message, surrender and go.
Surrender requires trust – trust that you are doing the right thing and you will bet this moments breath on it.
I surrender this writing to my heart, my mind, my body.
I surrender to my wealth of experience and knowledge, to the beauty that was gifted to me, a gift I cherish now as the years have gone by.
I surrender to my wisdom, my intelligence – which was hard earned, with blood, sweat, so many tears, sacrifice and patience.
I surrender to my gifts of awareness, insight and intuition.
I surrender to the new person I have created and become – crafted with all that my body, mind and heart could imagine.
I surrender those imaginations too.
I surrender to love in its deepest, most beautiful forms.
I surrender to strength – which I have found also in my weakness.
I surrender to the prayer that is my life.
I step outside of my old self – but I keep my skin. I step out of the ghost of long held ideas that made the composite people knew as Miko.
I step out of that emotional body, as it were, embracing the healing I have gifted to myself.
I open my heart first to gratitude – that I can write these words – that I can spell so well – that I can rock cursive and calligraphy and never lost a love for things artistic and beautiful.
I give thanks that I can see and know heaven when I am in hell. It is not easy.
I give thanks for the people I know – who have taught me so much of what it means to be a human being in this incarnation.
I give thanks for the cocoon that was my home for so long – a place I cried and raged, giggled, grieved and moaned in pain and pleasure. I give thanks for its warmth and solace.
I give thanks for the bondage that taught me the beauty of freedom. I give thanks for the ropes that tied me long after they were loose – they taught me the power of my mind.
I give thanks for the knowledge of pain – not so that I can inflict it, but so I can offer relief.
I give thanks for my loss. I give thanks for my gain.
I give thanks that with my breath, I can give thanks again and again.
I give thanks for the gems that life gives without cost – hidden things we see when we have no choice but to look deep within and around us – especially where we don’t think we’ll find them. They are there like energy – value – isn’t that what precious things are?
I give thanks for creation, both the one we are still trying to understand and the ones that are ours for good or for bad.
I give thanks for the battles that give new meaning to peace. I give thanks for rebirth that occurs in the mayhem.
I give thanks for my enormous heart – it wants to love the whole world in its own kind of way.
I give thanks for my racing mind – how it makes my thoughts feel like thunder which I love.
I give thanks for my creativity. I put it to use in new ways.
I give thanks that now I can say and mean it with all my feels – that I let go of all I thought I was and you were.
I can let go better because I know how to hold on. I know how to capture the essence of a moment and savor its magic alone without anything else but the memory. I give thanks for this love.
I give thanks that no old hold can stay the strength of my free spirit.
I give thanks that I am free. That I am me.