Not all change feels deeply challenging. But when it does, the feet can feel cold and drag, the mind can start racing thoughts about all the problems caused by moving forward, or we can just ignore the opportunity through denial and avoidance.
Change, however, is life.
Major life changes – when life gets so big it shakes you to your core and turns you upside down. It’s still change.
We have the power to direct change, incrementally, inch by inch, through awareness and pacing. Pacing is timing of motion. Timing, so some wisdom goes, is everything.
Awareness requires presence. Presence is a state of being. How long can you be with something? What’s the point of being with anything? Enjoyment usually. Sometimes obligation. Even an obligation is a nod to enjoyment because we feel better doing it than not doing it. Until that changes.
Who are we present with most? Who has the greatest amount of our focused attention? Who and what does our most intense energy focus on?
I believe there comes a time when the answer to that question needs to be: me. You. The person we have 24/7 access to. Then work from there.
We still shame selfishness while being foggy on its definition. In my opinion, the real selfishness is demanding overtly or covertly that someone else do what we want over what they want. This is a detrimental kind of selfishness because it’s unnatural. We each have the majesty of choice to the extent of our awareness. Giving someone awareness of their choice is to give them a glimpse of their freedom – it’s an act of divinity. It’s harmonic with nature.
What happens when you have that fear blinding moment of freedom to choose differently? To set yourself free?
Well, you’re changing the dance – you’re gonna step on some toes, maybe even sprain a foot. If you haven’t fallen in life, I don’t know what to tell you. Do you want to dare greatly or do you want to make people comfortable with not daring at all, much less greatly?
It all comes down to that person at the top of your chain of accountability. In my case, me.
To dig deep for the kind of change that means survival, where I get to go another round in the ring of life, I’m gonna go into that place where I’m selfish in a good way. Where I respect my inner voice, I put away the resistance of (and to) others, and I allow my state of mind to transform from my heart in all directions, and when my body feels it can do nothing else, I act from that place of deep inner confidence and personal truth.
A book I like that inspires this focus is Ignore Everybody: and 39 Other Keys to Creativity by author Hugh McLeod of @gapingvoid.
Interestingly, when you go deep like that, you have access to even more universal data. Inner space.
We are so mind-focused we don’t pay attention to the information we receive through other means. Through our skin, through our organs, through our energetic heart space. These are the places that are ours and ours alone, able to be governed by the mind for a time (the mind that is vulnerable to deception), but always ours to retrieve for ourselves.
Practically speaking, when change is deeply challenging, breathe into it – over and over. Then scan the physical body. Check the thoughts. Be at peace with them. Then ask internally, what do I do now?
Sit quietly till the answer comes that will not accept no. Stay until the whole of your being compels you to aligned action.
Then act. Unapologetically. Confidently. Embrace the new change. And watch a new world be built around you as it responds to your new moves. Thought by thought. Step by step. Intention and awareness. You are after all changing your dance. Pay attention. Stay awake. Rest when you need. Come back and do it again. Better.
This is the power of change that brings fear to its knees when you quietly utter that three letter word with your actions and mean it:
Tap on fear’s shoulder and say,
Hello Fear. Boo!
Words: Miko Hargett
Photo: Miko Hargett
For more tips on change, follow this blog. I will dance all over the place as I change. I will sit in my sacred soul and shift my connections. I will do it with selfies and Rebel writing. I will love it with the best definition of love I know. You are invited to share this part of my journey. Bring heart.
I am the director and agent of my change. I am not afraid to go deep. I will sit with you in hell and hold your hand. Because someone did it for me and it saved my life. I will help you create a heaven that is yours. First, you have to want it. I will not make you. I will help set you free. Unless you like the prison of your mind better. Then bye for now.