Ghosts of What Was Me #poetry

Authenticity I say; if there’s sunshine then there’s rain, and in the honest tears, Love’s quiet refrain.


Crying and crying and crying,
bitterly, resentfully,
mourning some kind of loss
while a rhythm pulses in my ears,
pushing out what was,
bringing to the surface
the hate I could not bear before,
cleansing what was not love,
letting it crash on the beach of mind;
The soul has no deadlines,
Knows no time.

Bring my soul up to my body,
Introduce it some new rhymes,
Make it shiver with sensation,
Make it make some sense of time –

If it loves me let it know me,
While I dance inside my dark,
Let it press itself against me,
Let it leave its fucking mark.

Tears stain my freckled cheeks,
Dry and leave their salty ink,
Wash away all trace of sorrow,
Disappear then down the sink.

We’ll smile again tomorrow,
Life ebbs and flows and hey,
We could never love the sunshine
If it didn’t storm, okay?

It’s perfectly unreasonable
To let love be so unbound,
To let death be a better honor
Than to make a burdened sound –

Let us rail against a system,
Deeply broken, richly flawed –
And let us put first the practical,
Make of purpose a new god –

And when we sit inside our weakness,
Let us silent drink the bitter brew –
Cuz what’s the point of loving
If it’s just me and not you too?

It takes god a year to answer,
I said hey if you’re around…
And you’ve got love that likes to listen…
Next year the god particle was found.

Meanwhile, with the passion of the wretched,
Those damn fools who choose to fall,
I sank into the depths of barely living,
Hoping to feel my soul’s call –

And the dis-ease grew inside me,
The distance from it all –
I felt the cold, the fire –
The beauty of the fall –

I loved in ways some said were wretched,
Every moment bared my soul,
Surrendered to the unforgiving,
Made the broken bits my whole –

Preached some kind of understanding,
Made some peace with death,
Laughed in the face of unknowing
While I also held my breath.

I dare you bring my soul into my body,
Call me from the cosmic realm,
Where parts of me still linger,
Buffering my big heart’s overwhelm –

I couldn’t tell you till I’d done it,
How a body can house a soul,
And a heart can be so broken,
While its person looks so whole.

And so what, comes that rejoinder,
Because we’ve learned not to care
When it comes to our inside broken,
The things hidden beyond what’s there.

And oh no, comes then the chorus,
Our world’s becoming broke,
But let’s go on like we used to,
Wave it off or drink or smoke –

Meanwhile there is a stretching
Of the things we cannot see,
And the fragments of the broken
Cut the hearts of you and me –

When we see beyond the color,
When we’re shattered just enough,
We open to a love that’s tender,
Gentle as it is tough –

And our souls make some new rapture –
Imagining a bliss,
Coming and going,
Life giving us a kiss –

With its kiss comes the shivers
Of a soul in body again
Of a love that keeps on spinning
While we dance inside its rain –

My tears are dried now,
Careful focus on my words,
What do they say about my loving –
Silence is all she heard.

Let me sit here in that silence,
Take my place beside the damned,
Because Love’s the destination
And there’s a bloody traffic jam

Meanwhile times a ticking
And all I hear are words,
And the rainy pitter patter
Of water on windows,
Falling out of skies like dying birds.

What’s a poem from the fog,
From in between the cradle and brave,
Where the storm is never ending,
And I’m a soul too late to save.

We are all for the heaven,
Far too pretty for the hell –
Put off our present for a future,
And fall down time’s well.

It’s a fucked up kind of loving –
I must be missing something here,
I must be awfully bad at giving,
And receiving too, I fear –

Just fly, they say from their rich living,
They don’t see the heavy chains
That hold me to Earth’s center
While my spirit flies and flies again –

It’s an impossible living,
If I’m honest I feel scorn,
When they speak of ghostly living,
Who have never been reborn –

Oh and I seek a higher way –
It’s more acceptable to say,
Than to lean into the tumble,
Find the obstacle the way –

Lean into the gritty living,
So the tired can feel some love,
My heart is way too heavy,
Messy too – go get a glove

Sometimes it’s much too heavy
And in spite of all the pain
That we turn into sensation,
Tears rain on my face again

And the biggest pain of all
Is that no one seems to see
That inside something so pretty
Hide the ghosts of what was me.


#poetry #poet #poem

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By mikohargett

A rogue consciousness adjusting to her new body.

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