Hindsight is 2020. Decade Change. Writing. Eating. Healing.

A pretty dinner for me.

This blog post is the second I started tonight. Lots of poetry in the other one.

Then I thought, oh I’m in deeper waters than I intended. Not a new feeling lol. Finish that deep dive later!

Oh there’s my food, in a photo, and I have not eaten it! I’m so dedicated to my creative writing craft. (Craft of eating too though!)

Who cares is a question I ask myself.

Or so what.

Who cares really about my still life photo? And that I get carried away creating.

Me, I do. This blog is for me.

Taking photos helps me focus attention and frame things in a pretty way. That teaches me to framing moments with thoughtful attention. Even if I get carried away.

Writing helps me understand more deeply by letting my big phat heart use my mind and fingers to express itself. I use stream of consciousness writing – thank you author James Joyce for that inspiration. Deep dive on that later.

When I stream words from my heart and don’t let my mind judge me – even for my judgments – I bring compassion to my spirit. I feel less like a volcano or pressure cooker, and more like the ocean and the air; not drowning in some big vastness but filling the vastness that is the deep unknown, swimming in it like an ethereal dragon, calling for healing of all who suffer, daring to hold dissenting opinions and daring to love it all, but finding that it is not always so easy to be like water when in human form.

When I stream my consciousness in words and images, I call parts of me back that could not bear my own reflection. I let her speak her deepest truth, defiant to fear, quivering from it and willing it to be consumed as it threatens to consume me.

In the Belly of fear is fear; some aching desire turned cold, a long ways off, it seems, from the fierce love of a hopeful heart.

I saw terror’s underbelly when I sat with my fears in the vast void in my quietest inner space and wondered if I had begun to love them.

This blog is for me. I’m a content creation machine! Haha.


PS: This blog is for you too. If you wish, and if the golden thread is something that shimmers. Thank you for sharing your time with me.

PPS: This post is with thanks to Betty. Sweet spirit, I promised I would post today and look at me Now! Grin. I am very careful with promises but this one seemed golden. Like the thread of forever that runs through the essence of our being. Big love always.

By mikohargett

A rogue consciousness adjusting to her new body.

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