My Breast Cancer Recovery GoFundMe

IMG_0105
Last year in the throes of early chemo treatment for HER2+ invasive ductal carcinoma. We have come a long way since…

It has been a lot to juggle. My writer self is returning after much practice on Facebook during this time I figure out my energy and new way of being.

I may be ambitious attempting #nanowrimo this year with pending radiation treatment, sure. But it feels right to forge ahead in the spirit of at least showing up and giving it my best shot.

Here is another request for a boost to my GoFundMe campaign. Meaning, I could use some money please! šŸ™‚

Link to my GoFundMe YouTube video request

I am only at 12% of my goal and while I have been fortunate to have help from good friends during this time –Ā I am still way shy of my goal. Ā The minimum donation is $5 – of course if you can give more I am extremely grateful for that as well!

Also please feel free to share. šŸ™‚

~ M xoxo

Advertisements

Miko for #MABWOW

I love this cause. Millionaires Against Bullying.

It feels inclusive and fun.

Many people still think their problems will be solved by more money. Me too. Money is awesome.

From what I can see tho, it does not come from cutting corners.

It comes from really loving what you do, so much that it just saturates your life with love – which is brilliance disguised in a pesky four letter word.

To join MABWOW one must put a video up. Here’s mine:

Still coming: Crossing Last Night’s Boat Moat

(The bat jammies because sometimes one signal is just not enough apparently. šŸ˜‰ )

 

Built for sin #ticktockbangbangĀ 

I was built for temptation and sin,Ā I’ve been told.

Does that include pain?
Is it why I feel in pictures of me

With my back up facing the rain?

For years? Every day. Bless the pain.
Once I talked to my old lovers wife,

We agreed on so much –

Strangely or not,
He smirked “make love?!” The first time –

I thought his cuddles were hot.
We agreed that GI Jane had wisdom about pain –
It means you aren’t dead yet.
What does dead feel like though?
An out of body experience?
A Lucid dream?
Be honest now.
Does it maybe feel like not being seen?

Like you’re a ghost and there’s a dream –
Does it feel like not being heard?

Like a backwards breath –

A long silent scream?
Or is it nothing and is that better

Than having one doubt your humanity?

Till the one turn to many –

And our worship becomes vanity.
What is it really? Have you peered through their eyes too?

Warmed your feet inside their shoes?
How do you know them?

How do you know you?
I doubt you know all of me.
I’d like to change that. I feel bad that I could not find it in myself to tell the truth.
That I didn’t know what it was in words.
But I always felt it in my bones

Breathing sharply down my spine.

Till my back hurt so much

The snakes, kundalini, the spine our support –
Think of those who died and where they Ā bore their scars –
I’ll tell you what I feel different
And how you could make them a legend –
If they’re dead-dead or dead-alive.
Sometimes we need a reboot in the form of a story.
We need something charming –
And if God is everything and more,
He is that also.
We’re his children they said.
Maybe the joke is that gods image meant skin.
What if it meant energy?
What if our mission is ngosis?

To experience sensation and evolve what that means?
What if the enemy of ngosis is the real enemy?
Bang bang.

I chose silence #ticktockbangbangĀ 

I chose my silenceĀ But tick tock
Because confession,

Conversation,

It’s all copulation,

Tick tock.
And when I die I’ll haunt your dreams

With my monologues,

Tick tock.

Tick tock.
My sisters will rise.

Other brothers too.

They’ll say tick tock.

They’ll say bang bang too.
Bang bang to you.
That’s the future of shame.

Maybe the present,

So tick tock

Cuz bang bang.
Maybe you are wrong,

Bang bang;

Maybe I am,

Tick tock.
#ageofthepoly
But he took my celibacy

And silence

And violated me

Bang bang.
Tick tock.

Once.

Tick tock.

Twice.
Bang bang, he said

I went chop chop.
They’d shoot you

He said.

Bang bang.

Tick tock.
I’ll kick you to the moon

Tick tock bang bang.
Maybe do more squats,

I thought and smirked

– but –

But bang bang.
I’ll smash your head into the wall,

He said.

I’m the dragon head he said.
Tick tock bang bang
I stole all his whippets

Tick tock

Bang bang.
I found peace and I was love

Tick tock

Bang bang

I said it too.
In my half open kimono,

Bang bang

I didn’t knock

I’m love,

I said
And bang bang

Tick tock.
I shook while the nitrous filled my sadness

If I can breathe until the next breath
Oh well worst case –

Bang bang.
They holds no hopes for us here

Bang bang.
They said I was Dexter.

A dark passenger.

That when I reincarnated

I’d be a beggar,

Bang bang.
What’s wrong with a beggar?

Tick tock.
Cull the herd.

Bang bang.

#timelessprose

#tictockbangbang #hybridmedia #socpoetry

He threw a chair towards me A stool. 

Bang bang. 
But it wouldn’t leave his hands. 

I froze his time. 

Bang bang. 
There was the institution to my left, off in the distance. 
It was 1997. 

Tick tock. 

Bang bang. 
It was green and cold and warm and the scent of a million screams that were gone now but not. 
I heard them say we died 

But we lived. 

And they shamed us 

Because tick tock 

Bang bang. 
Who has time to love, 

Bang bang? 
Cull the herd. 

Bang bang. 
Natural selection. 

Bang bang.
But the meek inherit the earth. 

Cuz their hands are free

And their hearts… 
Bang bang. 
Oh what have we here?! 
A martyr, a saint 

A suffering skin tent 

We know better now. 
Cuz hindsight. 

Tick tock. 

Bang bang. 
#resurrectionprose 

#poetry 

#timeisalie 

#averyprettylie