Write To Please One Person

I feel heavy and sore. The words don’t flow as easily as they do sometimes. It’s as if I’m standing at a fork in the road; do I write as a survivor from the depths of my soul, or write to earn.

Why not both?

Writing because the soul demands it, harnessing the opposing griffins of creativity and commerce with an invitation to be strong, kind and benevolent and practical.

It seems a lot sometimes. But that’s just like feeling bloated – often it feels worse than it is.

I feel bloated with effort, inflamed with tender determination. I’m in process and writing is a big part of that healing process. Not just the writing or the structure or the distribution or the validation of an appreciative reader, but all of it – the thinking, the heart, the feels, the action, the experience of taking abstract ideas that won’t be left alone and giving them shape in some reality with words that are seasoned with the sugar and spices of life, with bold and quiet moments, with the knowledge that there is beauty anywhere we feel and say it is, and in times like this, this gives hope to anyone who wants it. Even me.

I’ve been wrestling with novels and life in a new way. Novel means new and noteworthy too. Breast cancer behind me, surgery and rebuilding ahead of me.

I thought I could write myself into a new existence with intention, documenting the rewiring of my mind and the rehabilitation of my body through storytelling – through love stories.

Maybe if I looked into my own eyes and sat silently with the contents of my soul, I could become a better, stronger me – the one I sculpted from all the bits of The Bygone, the one I would set free.

Could I write to please her?

Inspired by a Facebook Post I wrote 3 months ago and am trying to embed in WordPress.com :) See link below.

If you enjoy this or want to help me get my head straight, please consider donating to my current gofundme campaign!

Thank you for reading. xx


Mandalay Bay ~ Las Vegas ~ Response from a Trauma & Breast Cancer Survivor, Martial Artist, Writer and Editor by trade #teamrubicon #streetteam #loveinaction

My heart and body shake with compassion for the people who are suffering.

Anger, rage, fury, disassociation… depression, confusion – these are some of the feelings that come to mind.

When the heart is in trauma, the body is in trauma. At some point that energy has to be expressed.

We decide how we respond. We have that power. At some point, someone has to say Enough.

(Please forgive my terminology and jargon now, I will try to speak as clearly as I can in writing.) 

Yesterday I went to a mastermind meeting I had been to before. I was hoping to see what was going on for business and how I could help.

Instead, we talked about the Elephant in the Room – in this case, the Mandalay Bay shooting. I felt it became “inappropriate” – because we gave space during this time of trauma to an old wound. I am sorry but I think this is a kind of selfishness that contributes to tragedy.

Right now in my life, I do not have time to think about what happened before today. I take it into consideration because I am a considerate individual. HOWEVER – I also need a place to stay and food to eat so I don’t die. If YOU cannot take that into consideration, then I cannot take you into consideration. Do you understand that?

Safe places and snowflakes. Ok, first off – how dare people use beautiful unique snowflakes in a rude way. Check your spirit before you speak. Personally, I am going to start my own Snowflake Society – perhaps virtual – to address the Real Real Snowflakes.

To me, this is a beautiful snowy day maybe like happened in the movie A White Christmas, where a bunch of soldiers and vets got together to honor their leader.

I would like to make safe places for those who are actively helping TODAY. I would like to provide them with food, support, and focused action utilizing all the skills I have and my own understanding of being in SURVIVAL MODE which is a state that can be experienced by all races and all species.

We make spaces by looking for commonality – not by looking for differences.

We make safe spaces by looking for strength – first in ourselves and then in others.

We make safe spaces when people have good food, good sleep and a place where we can share hugs and laughter, which will heal us.

Make your own safe space – and see how many people support you. If not, maybe it’s time to change the approach. That is true mastery – and strategy – adapting to the situation with the insight of how humanity responds.

Whatever entity is responsible – be it a sole human which I find unlikely but possible – do you think they knew how people would respond to a mass shooting?

Why did they do it anyway?

Get inside their head if you can – otherwise get inside your heart and use the resources of your own body and humanity to be the change you seek in the world.

Humility right now is power. Knowledge is power. Control is not power. Control is an illusion and it is a weakness to demand it of others instead of excercising your own ability to change.

Many people died. Their families are grieving. People are helping. This is not about my cancer survival right now – this is not about the fact that I am not sure where I am going to live by the weekend. I don’t have things I thought I had. I don’t have friends I thought I had.

But I am alive, mofos! I am alive and shaking and I have a heart. The heart inspires the mind, the stomach helps out, and the body benefits.

In trauma, when fight or flight is triggered, or sometimes freeze – the response that is most effective in my understanding is one that comes first with understanding and curiosity, followed by thoughtful communication and most of all LISTENING.

If you need others to make a safe space for you, I recommend therapy. I have gone for several years and I am at the point now that the things that used to make me tremble now don’t even bother me. This is healing.

You want a safe space? Therapy creates one for you. Outpatient group therapy. One on one therapy. Don’t like the stigma of therapy? Don’t feel you need it? All the most successful warriors and victors and advocates have their own coaches and their own support team made of humans who understand them and respect their abilities.

Respect is key. Everything else is blah blah blah at a time like this. Be human or you are being everything you hate and you don’t even know it which means you are NOT in control of YOURSELF.

To demand that safe spaces be afforded is the type of thinking that leads to shit like this. It starts with you. For me it starts with me. The fact that you can google gender pronoun conversations and confusion right now on the Internet means on some level we are in a HUGE identity crisis.

We have to change ourselves by creating that safe space within – and then sharing it with those who respect us. Respect. Love for yourself. Love like no one else does. Not with words but with heart. With your own beating heart.

Statistics are numbers. If you are doing research from a place whose intel is compromised, what does that say about your findings?

Who guards the guards? People guard the guards. Respect guards the guards. Love guards the guards. And then the guards can guard who is worthy guarding.

In times of trauma you have to make new decisions. If you have been through it, you have experiental knowledge that does not come from research but it comes from life.

The strength of the individual and the family is important now. Check yourself. Ask yourself if you are doing the best thing you can be doing right now for humanity.

We have a big problem where we try to protect others who feel victimized instead of referring them to proper help. People need to be more human focused – THAT IS THE KEY.

If you can’t accept it, then I feel we disagree on the definitions and principles of some pretty big issues like knowledge, power, control, surrender, submission, and a lot of things that you learn when you say…

Hey, maybe I am that safe space. Or,

Hey, maybe this is not the safe space for me.

Be part of the change – don’t make this about you.

Defending victims is not helpful. It just reveals that you have areas of your own life that you have not healed because you are joining them in creating a safe space by demanding that others gift you their time and their curiosity and their skills.

We are the human race. I put humanity above petty conversations in times when I forget how to breathe. Otherwise I would not be here today.

To suggest that other people don’t know about your own history is to suggest that you are ignorant of theirs. Takes two to tango and if you are resting on history to fuel your own comfort, you are not a safe space as far as I am concerned.

Scared people, hurt people, people in denial, people who do not know how to wait, how to be patient, who are not built for things they have been made to do,

They still have a choice even if they gave it up. Every minute you have a choice. Don’t hold us back by shielding yourself with trauma of the past.

How about, wow, I have never been in this situation. I am going to do something. What can I do? What can I change that might make things better for the circle I am a part of right now.

You be the safe space or go get help. We have to do this for ourselves and if we are committed to friendship, let us be first committed to humanity and to life.

It is not the time to bring up another morbid situation. It is time to soothe and comfort yourself in such a way that you are a blessing to society not just another damn drag.

Wake up people. Your words reveal what you do not see. Media is included. You are spouting your ignorance all the time and that is how people know when is a good time to do evil things.

Watch your words. Watch your heart. I send love and forgiveness. If you cannot forgive people because they know not what they do, maybe your value are not as Christlike as you think.

If you spend more time on the media than on your soul, your ballast must be outside of you. That’s how I see it.

I support knowledge and strengthening individuals, families and communities.
I support awareness. I support #TeamRubicon as a knowledge sharer until I can do more.


I DO NOT support the concept of safe spaces. That is a great way to gather a bunch of people to get shot and just make the case worse. What is everyone going to do? Think about it like your opponent. Be your opponent’s opponent. Fight with finesse if you must – and be prepared to heal and rebuild after the destruction. STOP TALKING about what you hate. It’s not safe. 

NOTE: This message is not for everyone. I trust that you will exercise your right to choose as a human being – and to respect that others can choose too. Work from there and you will go from frightened and debilitated, to finding the center inside that you never knew, and flipping on the switch for others too. Here’s the switch to self defense, protection and care.

I love you.

(And when you take the 


and the 


out of it,

what’s left?






– Acronym for LOVE; Miko Hargett aka Maria F Walls 

LOVE – That’s where we start. If you are on board, follow me for actual solutions. My team. My game. My rules. You want to have that ability? That knowledge? I create safe spaces in difficult places. I start with Me. If you start with you, we can talk. 

Get a good grasp on your understanding of LOVE – it is not romance and sex and pleasure only. It is insight, understanding, compassion, humility, adaptility and it is raw and real and will kick your assets to help you.)

Here are some resources I think will help with mindset. I get no kickback for this.

Jeff Cooper’s Color Code of Awareness – PAY ATTENTION to the subtleties of the situation, in other words – how you FEEL. Breathe into it.  


Team Rubicon – Street Team Tools – Civilian Response 


Follow me on social media of your choice if you want to help yourself and those you love. Imposing on people you don’t know to listen to your bad story when we have enough other stories is a display of ignorance that I think needs to go to the mental health clinic or find a therapist and I say that with passion of one who has found help in a hopeless place. Not only help, but love. LOVE. That is where we start. Otherwise we are blind.)

Miko Hargett

(content and opinions owned by Maria Faith Walls except where it’s obvious it’s not)  

In closing,

Blessings to those who are a blessing.

Please be safe.

Love to the best of your ability and then love better.

Maria Faith Walls

Complete Responder 


Jeff Cooper’s Color Code of Awareness – PAY ATTENTION to the subtleties of the situation, in other words – how you FEEL. Breathe into it.  


Team Rubicon – Street Team Tools – Civilian Response 



If you would like me to come and speak, or help in any way – please start by joining team rubicon. I share their values of knowledge and action. We will create safe spaces by being the safe spaces.

PPS: I beat cancer. I have another chance at life. I will honor those who have passed by making sure they are remebered for their goodness. Let the evil fall away. Stop giving love to evil unless you know what evil is like and are prepared to act. Otherwise, you owe it to yourself and to everyone else to get help. Be healthy. Be loving. Know what love and health mean.

NOTE: This message is not for everyone. I trust that you will exercise your right to choose as a human being – and to respect that others can choose too. Work from there and you will go from frightened and debilitated, to finding the center inside that you never knew, and flipping on the switch for others too. Here’s the switch to self defense, protection and care.  Enlightened Heartfelt Action.

(End of post.)

#nanowrimo starts in 7 days…

img_5351This year I am doing some new things. I feel finally ready to embrace plotting over pantsing. Organizing my work ahead of time over winging it and letting the story unfold as I write.

Last few years my mind has resembled more a herd of wild horses following the thunderous bellows of an unseen dragon.

To me, this is not a call for plodding, but for pantsing. And so I heeded the call and ran like the horses and the gusty wind. Well, my fingers did.

I found my plodding role model in Darynda Jones, New York Times best selling author and earner of other grand awards such as the Golden Heart and RITA. Phenomenal approach. I #nanowrimo webinar with Reedsy on Youtube.

I am now a ploooooooottttter! 

Also because while I have been writing and drawing for close to 4 decades – or since I could hold a pencil – or perhaps it was chopsticks! – I feel that the breast cancer and chemo and other challenges I invited into my life may have rebooted me into a serious beginner’s mind like I have not known before.

BYE BYE OLD STORY PLAN! I decided to toss out my whole old story idea that many of you know I have been holding close to my heart and conversations for many years. (My mind and heart and mouth are connected beyond reason sometimes – another conversation for another time).

The reason being, sometimes those blankies and narratives become too small – or perhaps even too smelly for the wash – and they just need to get burned up so something else can replace them. Something bigger, better, warmer, cooler, more perfect for now.

Yep, bye bye old idea and old plan. You were born to die. Thank you for what you did for me.

More questions. Along with that, last night I questioned whether novel writing was even a good idea for me. I have toyed more with the idea of adding novel techniques to non-fiction and documentation in a way that makes for better user engagement, etc. Maybe later.

But after discussing with a good writerly friend – sweet fiction seemed the way to go. Yep, not sure you will ever hear my full story as an autobiography. It’s just not very Geminian really – in my recent discoveries and maybe part of the reason I had so much resistance to it.

As soon as I decided on that, my mindset completely changed into one I felt at peace with.

And that, is always my goal as a writer. Whatever story I tell, whatever message I share or communicate for myself (or others as a ghost writer or communication consultant), I want to develop the right mindset and heart space so that the words take on a life of their own and lead the readers into a new world that enhances the one that they live in.

Other preparations such as food, personal care, simple as possible for me please. I am glad that I have fingers to type, a soul that writes, and a mind that is okay with changing – beyond okay actually, I embrace it.

And that’s where I’m at with my prep for #nanowrimo2016!

Sketching ideas before digitizing makes planning digital experience a tactile experience!

October Theme #nanowrimo #preptime

This month I will be preparing for November’s National Novel Writing Month.

Also known as #nanowrimo.

We call ourselves rhinos.

Fifty thousand words in a month to win.

If I participate this year, it will be my fourth year.

Twice I have won. The first time I just showed up. I think I did approximately 13,000 words but perhaps not quite.

Last year I did it during the final weeks of chemo.

And where are these novels now?

What an excellent question.



Image courtesy of https://runnersami.wordpress.com/2012/10/16/getting-geared-up-for-nanowrimo/

Crookedly Profound Harmony with Miko

Many of you know the plan is, like life, a crookedly profound harmony.

It is a magical storytelling circle that is going on at all times. It’s like a poem or a prayer – if you like, but something that comes from the heart primarily.

Then maybe the mind can help too.

We read stories everywhere. We hear them all the time. We listen to some we like. We remember even fewer. We remember the ones that touch us where we feel joy.

So in times of challenge – or ease – what if we could write our future? What if we were in charge and had the power to imagine something outrageous and realistic,

Then why not use the storytelling framework to tell new stories? The ones that are not past or future but are just the ones we love to tell. The ones that make our hearts swell.

The ones that are not about past or future but are just the ones we love to tell. The ones that make our hearts swell just to tell.

Some people like to hold a book. Some like to hold a device. Some people go back and forth.

But everyone has at least one story they like or don’t like.

Stories for everyone, all mediums. Everyone should have a chance to share the stories that light them up. No matter what language. Angry Birds was an amazing testament to that, being a super popular game with picture instructions.

What about my own story though? I feel like it’s best to share solutions that I have taken for a spin myself, because then I know I have tested them rigorously.

So as some of you know, I decided to start exploring this idea under many pen names (pseudonyms) and characters. The reason being, we are so multifaceted and I don’t think we get to express those sides of ourselves very much. How could we if there’s no framework for us to feel safe being the other sides of us, much less encouragement to explore what is outside of the realm of normalcy?

Story Characters, Streams of Consciousness, Kindness on Tumblr

An important part of any story is its characters.

Who is telling the story? Why? For now, Miko Hargett is. On my Facebook, a little other stuff leaks out. I have other buckets for my other categories of crazy online.

Sometimes I forget that I am writing a story at all and I just live it – this is me, being the story of me. It’s hard, being that we are all about doing.

Writing can bridge the gap between being and doing, and let me remind you again I am all about stream of consciousness* as a way of exploring things that really challenge us – like myself. 😉

* stream of consciousness: 

In literary criticism, stream of consciousness, also known as interior monologue, is a narrative mode or device that depicts the multitudinous thoughts and feelings which pass through the mind. ( From http://literarydevices.net/stream-of-consciousness/) 

Related: https://www.britannica.com/art/stream-of-consciousness

On Facebook primarily, but also on Twitter when Facebook gets slow – I share thoughts that pop into my head because technology allows that to be enough to communicate and connect with someone.

The Interwebs, as I like to call the Internet and World Wide Web, is like a humongous brain that we are all tapped into.

This is an incredible resource that we have created in spite of our other skirmishes with life – to create goodness.

Since I was 15 and I learned about James Joyce’ Ulysses – I loved the concept. Virgina Woolf’s writing too. With all I have been through the last few years and then this year especially with cancer recovery – my brain doesn’t recall things that are not critical to healing. Interesting, isn’t it?

With all I have been through the last few years and then this year especially with cancer recovery – my brain doesn’t recall things that are not critical to healing. Interesting, isn’t it?

This means it is very challenging to focus. My body rejects things that are not “critical” – even stress vibes.

But it also means that following my mind around as I share what is on it, on the Interwebs, means that when people I knew didn’t know how to help me, there were people on the Interwebs that did.

Years ago I found encouragement and comfort on Twitter.com and Tumblr.com. Once I posted a selfie of me that said,

Will you love me with my dark side? Lyrics from Kelly Clarkson I think.

Someone responded,

Because of it. 

I could sleep.

So tumblr.com is a good place for love and hopeless places – but also for crookedly profound fun that comes from the heart’s depths and the mind’s heights.

Sharing Socially …

After all that backstory, this is how my crookedly profound harmony moment finally came about.

It’s been two weeks since I posted here. I clicked on the Sharing section to make sure I am still sharing my pearls with appropriate networks.

  • Facebook.com – yes but only publish to my Miko Hargett page. Check.
  • Twitter.com – yes because Twitter can get moving. It’s data-rich and the Tweethearts are used to processing information quickly. It’s easy going and super useful.
  • Google Plus – Of course!
  • Tumblr. Screeech. Do I need another digital asset? Really? Tumblr is super cool though, they are about freedom of speech and being classy about it. It’s a great way to share neat information and feel cool about it. Haha.

Done. So I began the easy peasy Tumblr prompts to getting started. I figure I’m going to go with Miko Hargett of course, because branding, etc.

But then tumblr offers a list of usernames that I can change at any time…

Dun dun dun! Self expression! What sort of suggestions do we have here…


Tumblr knows me so well.

Done! Hahaha.

crookedlyprofoundharmony.tumblr.com is now live and connected to my WordPress.com and Twitter and also my Mikohargett.com blog. Feel free to follow and tumblr with me.

More, more, more soon

Next story coming to you eventually …

Crossing Last Night’s Bloat Moat 

A story about feeling bloated while on a bunch of medications and why it matters.