Mandalay Bay ~ Las Vegas ~ Response from a Trauma & Breast Cancer Survivor, Martial Artist, Writer and Editor by trade #teamrubicon #streetteam #loveinaction

My heart and body shake with compassion for the people who are suffering.

Anger, rage, fury, disassociation… depression, confusion – these are some of the feelings that come to mind.

When the heart is in trauma, the body is in trauma. At some point that energy has to be expressed.

We decide how we respond. We have that power. At some point, someone has to say Enough.

(Please forgive my terminology and jargon now, I will try to speak as clearly as I can in writing.) 

Yesterday I went to a mastermind meeting I had been to before. I was hoping to see what was going on for business and how I could help.

Instead, we talked about the Elephant in the Room – in this case, the Mandalay Bay shooting. I felt it became “inappropriate” – because we gave space during this time of trauma to an old wound. I am sorry but I think this is a kind of selfishness that contributes to tragedy.

Right now in my life, I do not have time to think about what happened before today. I take it into consideration because I am a considerate individual. HOWEVER – I also need a place to stay and food to eat so I don’t die. If YOU cannot take that into consideration, then I cannot take you into consideration. Do you understand that?

Safe places and snowflakes. Ok, first off – how dare people use beautiful unique snowflakes in a rude way. Check your spirit before you speak. Personally, I am going to start my own Snowflake Society – perhaps virtual – to address the Real Real Snowflakes.

To me, this is a beautiful snowy day maybe like happened in the movie A White Christmas, where a bunch of soldiers and vets got together to honor their leader.

I would like to make safe places for those who are actively helping TODAY. I would like to provide them with food, support, and focused action utilizing all the skills I have and my own understanding of being in SURVIVAL MODE which is a state that can be experienced by all races and all species.

We make spaces by looking for commonality – not by looking for differences.

We make safe spaces by looking for strength – first in ourselves and then in others.

We make safe spaces when people have good food, good sleep and a place where we can share hugs and laughter, which will heal us.

Make your own safe space – and see how many people support you. If not, maybe it’s time to change the approach. That is true mastery – and strategy – adapting to the situation with the insight of how humanity responds.

Whatever entity is responsible – be it a sole human which I find unlikely but possible – do you think they knew how people would respond to a mass shooting?

Why did they do it anyway?

Get inside their head if you can – otherwise get inside your heart and use the resources of your own body and humanity to be the change you seek in the world.

Humility right now is power. Knowledge is power. Control is not power. Control is an illusion and it is a weakness to demand it of others instead of excercising your own ability to change.

Many people died. Their families are grieving. People are helping. This is not about my cancer survival right now – this is not about the fact that I am not sure where I am going to live by the weekend. I don’t have things I thought I had. I don’t have friends I thought I had.

But I am alive, mofos! I am alive and shaking and I have a heart. The heart inspires the mind, the stomach helps out, and the body benefits.

In trauma, when fight or flight is triggered, or sometimes freeze – the response that is most effective in my understanding is one that comes first with understanding and curiosity, followed by thoughtful communication and most of all LISTENING.

If you need others to make a safe space for you, I recommend therapy. I have gone for several years and I am at the point now that the things that used to make me tremble now don’t even bother me. This is healing.

You want a safe space? Therapy creates one for you. Outpatient group therapy. One on one therapy. Don’t like the stigma of therapy? Don’t feel you need it? All the most successful warriors and victors and advocates have their own coaches and their own support team made of humans who understand them and respect their abilities.

Respect is key. Everything else is blah blah blah at a time like this. Be human or you are being everything you hate and you don’t even know it which means you are NOT in control of YOURSELF.

To demand that safe spaces be afforded is the type of thinking that leads to shit like this. It starts with you. For me it starts with me. The fact that you can google gender pronoun conversations and confusion right now on the Internet means on some level we are in a HUGE identity crisis.

We have to change ourselves by creating that safe space within – and then sharing it with those who respect us. Respect. Love for yourself. Love like no one else does. Not with words but with heart. With your own beating heart.

Statistics are numbers. If you are doing research from a place whose intel is compromised, what does that say about your findings?

Who guards the guards? People guard the guards. Respect guards the guards. Love guards the guards. And then the guards can guard who is worthy guarding.

In times of trauma you have to make new decisions. If you have been through it, you have experiental knowledge that does not come from research but it comes from life.

The strength of the individual and the family is important now. Check yourself. Ask yourself if you are doing the best thing you can be doing right now for humanity.

We have a big problem where we try to protect others who feel victimized instead of referring them to proper help. People need to be more human focused – THAT IS THE KEY.

If you can’t accept it, then I feel we disagree on the definitions and principles of some pretty big issues like knowledge, power, control, surrender, submission, and a lot of things that you learn when you say…

Hey, maybe I am that safe space. Or,

Hey, maybe this is not the safe space for me.

Be part of the change – don’t make this about you.

Defending victims is not helpful. It just reveals that you have areas of your own life that you have not healed because you are joining them in creating a safe space by demanding that others gift you their time and their curiosity and their skills.

We are the human race. I put humanity above petty conversations in times when I forget how to breathe. Otherwise I would not be here today.

To suggest that other people don’t know about your own history is to suggest that you are ignorant of theirs. Takes two to tango and if you are resting on history to fuel your own comfort, you are not a safe space as far as I am concerned.

Scared people, hurt people, people in denial, people who do not know how to wait, how to be patient, who are not built for things they have been made to do,

They still have a choice even if they gave it up. Every minute you have a choice. Don’t hold us back by shielding yourself with trauma of the past.

How about, wow, I have never been in this situation. I am going to do something. What can I do? What can I change that might make things better for the circle I am a part of right now.

You be the safe space or go get help. We have to do this for ourselves and if we are committed to friendship, let us be first committed to humanity and to life.

It is not the time to bring up another morbid situation. It is time to soothe and comfort yourself in such a way that you are a blessing to society not just another damn drag.

Wake up people. Your words reveal what you do not see. Media is included. You are spouting your ignorance all the time and that is how people know when is a good time to do evil things.

Watch your words. Watch your heart. I send love and forgiveness. If you cannot forgive people because they know not what they do, maybe your value are not as Christlike as you think.

If you spend more time on the media than on your soul, your ballast must be outside of you. That’s how I see it.

I support knowledge and strengthening individuals, families and communities.
I support awareness. I support #TeamRubicon as a knowledge sharer until I can do more.


I DO NOT support the concept of safe spaces. That is a great way to gather a bunch of people to get shot and just make the case worse. What is everyone going to do? Think about it like your opponent. Be your opponent’s opponent. Fight with finesse if you must – and be prepared to heal and rebuild after the destruction. STOP TALKING about what you hate. It’s not safe. 

NOTE: This message is not for everyone. I trust that you will exercise your right to choose as a human being – and to respect that others can choose too. Work from there and you will go from frightened and debilitated, to finding the center inside that you never knew, and flipping on the switch for others too. Here’s the switch to self defense, protection and care.

I love you.

(And when you take the 


and the 


out of it,

what’s left?






– Acronym for LOVE; Miko Hargett aka Maria F Walls 

LOVE – That’s where we start. If you are on board, follow me for actual solutions. My team. My game. My rules. You want to have that ability? That knowledge? I create safe spaces in difficult places. I start with Me. If you start with you, we can talk. 

Get a good grasp on your understanding of LOVE – it is not romance and sex and pleasure only. It is insight, understanding, compassion, humility, adaptility and it is raw and real and will kick your assets to help you.)

Here are some resources I think will help with mindset. I get no kickback for this.

Jeff Cooper’s Color Code of Awareness – PAY ATTENTION to the subtleties of the situation, in other words – how you FEEL. Breathe into it.

Team Rubicon – Street Team Tools – Civilian Response

Follow me on social media of your choice if you want to help yourself and those you love. Imposing on people you don’t know to listen to your bad story when we have enough other stories is a display of ignorance that I think needs to go to the mental health clinic or find a therapist and I say that with passion of one who has found help in a hopeless place. Not only help, but love. LOVE. That is where we start. Otherwise we are blind.)

Miko Hargett

(content and opinions owned by Maria Faith Walls except where it’s obvious it’s not)  

In closing,

Blessings to those who are a blessing.

Please be safe.

Love to the best of your ability and then love better.

Maria Faith Walls

Complete Responder 


Jeff Cooper’s Color Code of Awareness – PAY ATTENTION to the subtleties of the situation, in other words – how you FEEL. Breathe into it.

Team Rubicon – Street Team Tools – Civilian Response


If you would like me to come and speak, or help in any way – please start by joining team rubicon. I share their values of knowledge and action. We will create safe spaces by being the safe spaces.

PPS: I beat cancer. I have another chance at life. I will honor those who have passed by making sure they are remebered for their goodness. Let the evil fall away. Stop giving love to evil unless you know what evil is like and are prepared to act. Otherwise, you owe it to yourself and to everyone else to get help. Be healthy. Be loving. Know what love and health mean.

NOTE: This message is not for everyone. I trust that you will exercise your right to choose as a human being – and to respect that others can choose too. Work from there and you will go from frightened and debilitated, to finding the center inside that you never knew, and flipping on the switch for others too. Here’s the switch to self defense, protection and care.  Enlightened Heartfelt Action.

(End of post.)


Welcome Wednesday 

It’s Wednesday, so with alliteration fast becoming one of the candidates for my core values… 
I wanted to talk about writing. With a W! Many times I write with my right pointer finger on my phone in Evernote. 
So I posted a fantastic article from copyblogger about first drafts which were so rough for me for awhile. This helps me a lot. 
Tada, powerful info on writing – basically showing up and getting going. That’s a big obvious one. 
So read that, then begin… Sounds good to me. 
When I laid down to write, propped up against pillows (so my new tatas get a nice shape) with my big wolf stuffie resting under my knees, the following words knocked at my mind. 
In two months, I’m going to relive my story and let it go. (Two months?!) 
Into a bunch of little stories and moments. 
And weave it into a new life. A new story. Let in the light through the cracks in the wall or the broken glass windows. 
I’ve thought a lot about metaphors for transformation – to help when I need to step out of my head and see things, feel things, in a new way. 
But sometimes there are no words – or too many to choose from. 
A picture can speak in any language, volumes. 
This would be a story that would build a new life of its own out of my soul. Starting by capturing raw moments where I wanted to connect or express myself in a meaningful way. 
I could see it like magic in my head. The digital books, the story architecture, how my path could go. What I might encounter. How to circumvent and how to endure. Everything I needed. Locked up. 
How to get it out? What catalysts would I need to help me find my center in this perfect storm? 
But I had hit a wall. Hard. Repeatedly. I needed to dig deep. At that point I think it just happens. It’s hard but you know what to do to find the answer. 
So when I found myself in the worst of some of my bigger fiascos, after spending the morning rolling around on the carpet in an apartment belonging to a man who gave me a place to rest, bought me groceries and did my laundry, I decided I needed a solid plan. 
There, on spice and cigarettes, with cheap carpet under me (I prefer shag and Berber but wood or parquet too… Don’t get me started on surfaces. 😉 ), amid the din of my wildly rowdy mind, I formulated a plan so simple I could do it when I was a mess – and there build myself back up from a very broken place. 
It would need to be a rebellious plan – something that felt frivolous would work because I was in serious trouble. 
Then it came to me. Followed by a sudden brief quietness. 
I would take selfies. 
Mostly. Other things too of course. Anything that moved me. 
That would be my job. I’d figure out how to make it pay. 
Fuck money, actually. 
This was about more. This was about my soul – which I feel is the essence of life but not limited to this life. 
Every day I would look deep into my soul, my eyes, and be at peace with myself using my iPhone 4. 
Not just once a day. Anytime I felt moved to, anytime I thought about it. Think. Click. Yay. 
For that second I could be present. 
For that second I could write a million words into that picture with my soul looking back at me. And just be. 
And second by second, I would pull my shattered self together at the right time. 
It might be a bit disjointed, a bit raw. Just so you know. 
Much of my recovery has to do with the mind and the heart – but I like to be  practical about it. 
(We can talk about the balance between managing expectations and believing in miracles another time.) 
I intend to take some deep dives on some tougher topics as well as fiddle around on the shores with my toes in the sand – while I recover from the breast cancer experience and finish surgeries, work through chemo brain and attention fatigue, PTSD symptoms, and share my experiences in transformation using technology plus whatever is around me. 
Like I enjoyed watching them do on spy shows. Sydney Bristow from Alias, Nikita from Nikita, Burn Notice … 
Speaking of using whatever resources I can, I’m joining the conversation on healing as I recover from breast cancer (cancer free now!). 
I’d like to talk about the integrated mind/body/spirit or soul work I have experienced and explored with the medical system too. I don’t feel it has to be either or. 
Soul work, I believe, is best done in a fun, loving and fearless way. To me fearless, by the way – as you may notice in the word itself – starts with fear. It’s ok to feel it sometimes, but it’s also ok to say boo back. Then fear becomes less. To make way for the boo. 
Also fun are surprises. Good surprises. 
So be assured (and warned!) that there are all kinds of conflicts, twists and turns in my personal story as well as the fiction and creative non fiction to come. 
I hope you are okay with it and subscribe for as long as it makes sense for you! 
I plan to tackle life’s tough topics with love, lots of yummy healthy food ideas, tips on how to love yourself in tough times – or with no money lol – and some strange, silly, sick, sweet, and who knows what else, stories and ideas about everything from the mundane to the magical. 
Dun dun dun. 
But our first stop I think, will be pictures. 
Picture stories. 
Selfies, I mean. 
We’ll see what happens. Stay tuned. 😘 

Miko xo 

PS: Random quote from me: 

I like to say I found love in a hopeless place (thanks Rhianna for that song) – and I think it was there all along. ❤️ 

#love #hope #music #transforming

Kami my wolf stuffy, under my knees.
Kami my wolf stuffy, under my knees.